


Left Behind

by rosymamacita



Series: Arcadia [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arcadia - Freeform, Canon Compliant, F/M, First Kiss, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Speculation, Virtual Reality, hopeful ending at least, kiss kiss, the city of light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 08:44:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosymamacita/pseuds/rosymamacita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has taken the VR chip and gone into The City of Light to save her people. Her body remains in Arcadia, lifeless.</p><p>Bellamy has been left behind again, and there is nothing he can do.</p><p>Except maybe there is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Left Behind

Once again, Bellamy was left behind.

His rounds for the day were done, but he paced the ground outside med bay, back and forth, back and forth. But there was nothing he could do.

Once again.

Clarke was off, sacrificing herself to save them, being their savior, and he was left. Behind. Alone. Useless.

And so was her body.

Arcadia was silent tonight. It had been silent all day. It was eerie. There were so few of them left, and the ones who were had also been left behind. And they were terrified. There was nothing he could do for him because Clarke had gone into the City of Light. And he was terrified that she would never come back.

He stayed behind, keeping the walls up, and the few guards doing rounds. He had the last hunters and trappers bringing in food to feed the remaining living Arcadians. The Delinquents had taken on more of the responsibility than he had ever thought they would, the ones who had always been followers, who would do whatever Clarke or Bellamy had said back in the before time, and had faded back to being kids again when the grown ups had landed. His kids had stayed behind and were once again guarding and hunting and trapping and making sure everyone survived until Clarke could save the day.

Bellamy had been proud that few of the delinquents had chosen to slip into the lies of the City of Light. He and Clarke had taught them how to survive on this harsh Earth. They had taught them how to live. In fact, they were on the other side of the camp tonight, singing songs around a campfire. He almost couldn’t understand how they could be happy songs, songs of open skies and freedom, when they had all suffered so much. But they could, and they were, in the face of all their pain.

He turned on his heel and pushed through the door to the med bay. 

“Bellamy, I told you already, there’s nothing you can do,” Jackson said. The man was pale and the tension had aged him. 

Bellamy ignored Jackson, stormed to the back of the med bay, the beds lining the hall all filled with silent, hollow people. People he loved. People who had given up this fucking life of pain and blood and winter cold and tears and illness and fear and anguish so they could live a lie.

At the back of the room, the room that was too large and too filled with absent bodies, was Clarke. 

Those others had chosen to avoid how hard life was. Had chosen Jaha’s vision for a painless life, had given up. But Clarke, Clarke, of course, had gone in there, head first, knowing that she might never come out so that she could save them, so she could destroy ALIE and Jaha’s imaginary, perfect city.

“You have to stay, Bellamy” she had told him, as she palmed the VR chip. It glittered in her hand, so pretty. “I need you to take care of them.”

“No,” he’d said. “I’ll go. You stay here in Arcadia. I’ll shut down the City of Light.”

“Bellamy,” she’d whispered and his heart had stilled. She stepped in close to him, her eyes pleading. “I can’t do what you can. You can hold Arcadia together. The delinquents love you. The arkers look up to you. The grounders respect you. I’ve been gone too long, there’s too much… after all that happened. Without my mom, or Kane, or even Pike, I can’t lead them. Only you can do that.”

“It’s not true.”

“It is true. But this I can do, and you have to trust me.”

He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but that isn’t who they were to each other, so he just stared deeply into her eyes and she stared into his. He felt he would break. “Jaha’s dream has already swallowed so many of us, I can’t lose you too.”

She watched his words strike her like a blow. Her lips fell open in a gasp, and then she was upon him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his. His arms came around her, holding her to him, so she couldn’t get away. “You’ve never lost me,” she said against his lips. “Through all of this, I have been yours.”

But it hadn’t been enough, and she had taken the VR chip and laid down on the cot and faded away. 

She was hooked up to an IV, so she wouldn’t starve while her mind travelled the City of Light. He had no idea what was going on there, what she was doing, if she had forgotten them here in Arcadia, in the real world.

If she had forgotten him.

Bellamy pulled up a chair. “You would be proud of our kids, Clarke. Remember when we first landed and all they wanted to do was run and fight and fuck and eat and drink? Not anymore. They’re keeping us together.” His words failed him. He found himself staring at her, her blank face, eyes closed, unfeeling, unaware. He just knew how wrong it was. She should never have gone into the City of Light. They could have found another way. 

He grasped the hand that wasn’t attached to wires. He held it between his two hands. “They’re singing, Clarke. I can actually hear them through the window, across the camp. Right now. Can you hear them? They’re singing about falling stars in the sky.” When a hot tear fell from his cheek to her hand, he was surprised. He wiped the tear away from her skin with his thumb. “It’s beautiful. It reminds me of that time at the Drop Ship, when we watched the Culling Funeral. When we stood there together. It was so sad, but I would go back to stand with you again.”

Her limp fingers twitched in his.

Bellamy stopped and looked at her face. It was impassive still. Stone. “Clarke?”

She didn’t move. Had he imagine the twitch in those lifeless hands? He held her hand tighter. What had it been? Talk of the stars? Were there no stars in the City of Light? Had she heard him?

“Did you know we managed to save some of the paintings from Mount Weather. I always thought you would be glad of that. My favorite one all in swirly blues. Jasper said it was called ‘Starry Night.’ Maya told him, before. She would have been sad that we lost so many paintings. But at least we saved some.”

It was a definite twitch. He’d spent so much time with her, as much as he could, and she had never so much as moved a muscle.

“Is something wrong, Clarke?” he pulled her hand into his lap, “Do you need to get out of there? Do you need to wake up? Are you in danger?” He leaned forward so he could see her face. It was still as quiet as ever. “Clarke. It’s been too long. I don’t know what you’re doing in there, but it’s been too long. Your body can’t handle it. You have to come back.”

This time her hand stayed dead in his. He knew she heard him, but of course, his concern for her well being wasn’t going to be important enough to make her respond. It wasn’t in real life, with the way she kept sacrificing herself, how could it work when she was lost in a fantasy virtual reality world. It was something else.

Not the stars, he realized. Talking about her people. Talking about the culling, or Maya in the mountain. Sadness.

Bellamy shifted to sit on the edge of her bed. He looked at her. Sadness? Why would sadness bring her back from the perfect virtual world where there was no pain? Why would she want to feel sadness?

“Do you remember, Clarke? Do you want to remember the pain you felt? Is it better to have that than to not have anything at all?” She didn’t respond. Of course she didn’t. Her hand was still in his. She put one finger on her pulse. Maybe he could feel her heart speeding up, reacting, something. He thought of the saddest thing they had ever experienced.

“We had to do it, Clarke. We had to kill all those people in the mountain. It was horrible, but if we had waited, even a few seconds, Octavia would have died, Maya would have died anyway. They had no problem killing their own people. Jasper would have died. Did you know that I spent some time with those video feeds. There was a guard with a gun right behind Jasper. He couldn’t have ended it, the way he thought he could. He would have died, right then. And then your mother, and then Raven. The longer we would have waited, the more of them would have been drilled and ended up like Fox.” Her pulse sped up against his fingers. But no twitch. She did hear him. 

He felt so helpless. How was he supposed to reach her? “Clarke, when you went to kill Finn, I was so terrified for you. I knew that Raven’s plan to assassinate Lexa would have meant your death, and probably every last Sky Person’s too, but I trusted you. I knew that you would figure it out. I believed in you.” Her hand twitched. At the wrist, not just a finger. Bellamy gasped. He kept going. Whatever came into his mind next.

“Do you know who else trusted you? Wells. He believed that you could save the delinquents, could help them survive on this god damned planet. This beautiful, terrible, wonderful planet.” Bellamy realized that he was crying now. “He wouldn’t want you to disappear into The City of Light. He would want you to stay with us and suffer and work and eat and love…” his words choked off.

Clarke’s eyelid twitched, for just a second. 

“Oh,” he said. “Oh. Do they not have love in The City of Light? Did they get rid of love when they got rid of pain?” Bellamy laughed, bitterly. “I have plenty of both, Clarke. You know that, don’t you?” He leaned forward and brushed her hair back from her forehead. 

“Do you know how I felt when you left me, when you left Camp Jaha? Of course you know. You had to know how my heart was breaking, how I wanted to tell you to stay, for me. Even if you couldn’t do it for anyone else, just stay for me. But I couldn’t ask that when I knew you needed to go for you.” He found himself leaning over her, one hand braced on either side of him as he leaned from the hips to almost cover her with his torso. “So I had to let you go.”

Her eyes fluttered. Bellamy felt a smile touch his lips. He leaned down to her ear and whispered. “I didn’t even know I was in love with you then,” he said, and her head turned, ever so slightly, but enough so that his lips brushed her ear. He pulled back. Blinking at her. Her eyelids were definitely fluttering. A fine sweat was beading her forehead.

“Clarke? Do you want me to touch you?” There was no response, but he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She pressed back against his lips. He pulled back again, his eyes wide. “Shit.” A muscle leapt in her cheek. “Wake up, Clarke. Wake up for me.” And suddenly he had no more patience. He lifted her and pulled her into his lap so that he could hold her entirely in his arms.

“Clarke, listen to me. I can’t lose you, not when I haven’t had the chance to love you. I’ve only just realized. Please Clarke. When I heard you were being hunted, when Wanheda was being hunted, I went mad. I had to find you. I didn’t even know why and it wasn’t until I saw you, and touched you, and was so close to you and then I woke up and I was left behind again. It wasn’t until then that I realized why I had to find you. It was because I loved you and I needed you.” He could feel her muscles, all over her body twitching, trying to fight… something. 

“What are you doing!” Jackson came running over. “Put her down!” He turned off one of the machines. He must have pulled off a sensor and set off and alarm without even noticing. He didn’t care. He looked up at Jackson.

“She’s trying to wake up!” Bellamy cried.

“What?” Jackson said, rushing to check her vitals. “Temperature and heart rate and brain scans are up. What did you do?”

“I’m—I’m telling her that I love her.” He said, his eyes back on her face. There was a tiny crease between her eyebrows.

“Well don’t stop now!” Jackson said. “Keep going!” He moved on to the other patients, comatose in the med bay, checking them too, and Bellamy pulled Clarke to him until she was pressed against his chest. 

“And then when I came to you in Polis, and there you were, terrifying in gold and black, makeup hiding your eyes like a mask. I knew it was love, because otherwise it never could have hurt so much knowing you wouldn’t come with me. I know you didn’t choose her over me, I know why you did it, but then it felt like you were doing it again, leaving me behind. I did so many things, because I was angry. I knew it wasn’t me you were leaving, but you left me.”

“Clarke?” her face was flushed and shiny and twitched to the side. “Clarke, please. Please.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t. I tried. It will break me. I need you. You said we’d do it together. Come on, Clarke. Wake up.”

He cupped his hand to her face. He kissed her fluttering eyelids. First one eye. Then the other. Then high on each cheekbone. “Clarke, please.” Her head turned towards him. “I love you, Clarke. Please. Wake up for me.” He kissed her lips then, and they were dry and hot, feverish. He was getting ready to call Jackson over when he felt her hand clutch at his arm. 

He gasped. “Clarke? Clarke?”

Her fingers clutched at him without strength. Her head lolled back against his shoulder and her lids slitted open.

“Come on, Clarke honey. You can do it. Come back to me.”

“Bell?” she said, barely, weakly. “Real?”

“Yes!” he cried triumphantly. “I’m here, Clarke. You’re back. I’m real.”

He pushed her tangled hair back from her face. Her eyes tried to focus on him. “Where?”

“Arcadia. In the med bay.”

She shook her head slowly and raised her hand to his face. “Not real.”

He chuckled but it turned into a sob half way through. “How can I convince you?”

Her eyes closed, lashes dark against her pale cheek. “Kiss.”

He held her hot face and kissed her, as gently as he could.

She made a frustrated sound and shook her head slightly. “More,” she said, pulling him closer. She was weak and wasn’t pulling very hard. Bellamy helped her wrapped his arms around her, kissing her for real.

She broke the kiss and took a deep breath. A real breath. Her eyes opened and connected with his. She nodded. “Yes. Better.” But then she grabbed him and tangled her fingers in his hair, opening her mouth and running her tongue along his. Bellamy was beginning to forget where he was. 

“Uhm, excuse me?” Jackson was standing there. Bellamy tried to pull away from Clarke, but she held him.

“He’s real,” she said, relieved. “I’m real.” She looked up. “Jackson? You’re real too?”

“Yes. You’re back. How did you get back.”

“Bellamy—“ she turned white and her eyes rolled back in her head. Her shoulders heaved. “Get it out!” she said and then leaned over the side of the bed and vomited.

A blood colored chip clattered on the floor and black wires like tentacles flailed momentarily before going still. Clarke saw it and heaved again. Bringing up nothing but bile. She had been on intravenous nutrients for a week. There was nothing in her system.

“Oh,” she said, and collapsed against his shoulder.

“You need to rest Clarke, get your strength back up. You’re weak as a kitten,” Bellamy said.

She shook her head. “I’ve rested enough. It was the chip, it suppresses your consciousness, so the VR can take over. I—“

She stopped. Bellamy looked at her, suddenly realizing he was still holding her in his lap, and she had her arms wrapped around him, as if she had no plans to go anywhere ever again.

“What is it, Clarke?”

She turned a look of wonder on Bellamy. “I know what we have to do.” She smiled at him. “And we do it together.”


End file.
